Maybe I’m not crazy after all…

I mean it. I sometime think I’m crazy for feeling the way I do. I don’t know how many times I have heard “your young you shouldn’t be tired,” You shouldn’t be hurting all the time,” that’s weird,” and so on… Yeah I know! It’s not like I want to hurt, be exhausted all the time, and have a hard time sleeping, it’s just my reality. My reality now is I hurt and it’s almost unbearable at times. It’s so frustration when I feel as though I’m not taken seriously. My labs are normal, great but that still doesn’t tell me anything. It isn’t like this is a relatively new thing. It is something I have dealt with for years, it has just gotten much worse.

I may have a bit of a lead anyways. My sister in law is a dr. physical therapist to be exact and she suggested it may be fibromyalgia… I looked into it and for once I read something that described exactly how I feel. I am planning on discussing the possibility with my dr next week, but it is hope that there might not be so crazy as I am beginning to believe. Now I don’t like the idea of having it one bit, I actually intend to do everything I can to help heal my body as much as possible. I don’t really know what to think at this point because it scares me a bit. The unknown scares me, I know there is something wrong it is just a battle making the drs see it. Unfortunately my man has witnessed it more than I would like. He has seen me near paralyzed in pain and crying. He is the reason I want to desperately to figure out what is going on. I promised him I would work on finding out. I love that man so very much! There have been times when I wanted to escape my own body so badly I have considered ending it all, but he is my reason to fight. I could never in a million years hurt him. I will continue to fight because he has given me a reason. I am so glad I have him as my rock.

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