Tag Archive | diet

Guess I’m not too Bulletproof…

Ok I know I said I was going to try to stick with bulletproof coffee with the hopes of increasing my calories would increase my sleep……don’t think its gonna happen…

First off I am really funny I guess but I get turned off by silly things and fat is one of them. I did manage to choke down a cup of bulletproof coffee at both breakfast and lunch yesterday but I was so nauseous all day, I always seem to have that problem every time I have tried it. Anyways by night I was really starting to feel awe full, my med had begun to wear off and I was still feeling nauseous. I ate a little bit of homemade chicken noodle soup(if you’ve never had homemade you don’t know what your missing!) and cornbread but unfortunately I ended up throwing up afterwards. 😦

I really don’t know what to do at this point, I still didn’t sleep regardless of having more calories yesterday than 2-3 day combined. My body won’t seem to let me sleep, I woke up with muscle spasms and a couple places aching. Now I will say that is a HUGE improvement from when I went to bed last night. I waited too long to take my medicine and I ended up writhing in pain until it began to kick in.

I don’t know what this is…I hate it because it has taken away everything that used to be me. I don’t have the energy or stamina to do things I love, horseback riding, working out, running, playing with the girls…. Β I hope and pray we can get some answers soon..

Anyways I don’t know that I will be able to stomach more bulletproof coffee ( I state as I sip on a cup of nice black, fat free coffee!lol) so I will probably continue on with just watching portions and calories. Honestly its not hard for me to do that as my appetite has somewhat gone out the window. I eat basically so I can take my meds. Perhaps the weight loss is slower but I know I am getting there, even though it has taken kinda a backseat to health in general.

I don’t know if anyone else has dealt with something of this nature but any advice would be welcome as always. I hope everyone has a wonderful day! πŸ™‚



If anyone read my previous post you have an idea of some of the things I am dealing with physically. Well while I was laying awake last night I decided to start trying different things and documenting how they make me feel. I have been trying to lose weight before my fiance’s graduation from the police academy which is April first(yikes! less than a month now! ) and I have cut my calories because of my efforts. Mind you it has been very easy to cut my calories because I hurt so bad it made me nauseous, but since going to the dr. Tuesday and getting something which has helped tremendously I have still continued on low cal.

But I have a problem…… I can’t sleep. 😦 I am not sure if it is because of the medicine or because I haven’t been eating much. Before I couldn’t sleep because of the pain. I have noticed that when I would splurge and have like two slices of pizza after not really eating all day that I slept all night. So perhaps its my body saying it is hungry????? But I still want to lose weight!

I do have to admit here that even though my calories have been very low…I haven’t lost much weight. So……..I am going to do an experiment. I am going to switch out my usual “hot chocolate” coffee or yogurt breakfast for bulletproof coffee. I have had more calories already this morning than I would have for most of the day but I’m not gonna think on that too much……. :/ I am also going to take a coffee with me to work in a paper cup so I can heat it for lunch. I don’t usually take a lunch, other than perhaps a protein shake of fruit, so we will see how this works. LOL Overall I am hoping to function a little better, have more energy, SLEEP tonight and in the long run if I feel like I can continue with it lose some more weight. Its an experiment. πŸ˜‰ I will say that this morning I am already a lot steadier and it seems it is clearing my lungs out. I’m also not a bit hungry, though haven’t really had that problem anyways in the mornings.lol But still even my stomach isn’t growling.lol This will be interesting anyways.

TO BE CONTINUED………………………………. πŸ˜‰

Weight loss without working out

Hey everyone. I apologize for not having posted in the last week or so. I have had so much going on its hard to even see straight.lol I’ve started a new job which is hopefully training me to run my own business, been waiting to hear if my man will be joining the military, in the process of moving and get to top it off with being sick. Everything is looking brighter though and it has helped me grow a lot.

Anyways…… the post I wanted to write today has to do with the best way to lose weight. Theoretically the more you exercise and cutting back on what you consume should equal weight loss right??? If that was the case I should be skinny. Growing up on a horse ranch I have ALWAYS had to work hard physically. I began to also exercise a lot more as well in an effort to slim down a little. Throw in cutting calories and even falling into some disordered eating one would think I should be pretty slim. Yet I still weight the same. I have had the same 30lbs through all of it. The funny part? The ONLY times I have seemingly lost any weight where holidays where I ate a LOT and had NO additional exercise……Now thats not right! πŸ˜›

Quite frustrated I have decided to quite working out. Before anyone starts rolling their eyes let me give my reasons. Firstly with everything that is going on, my time is limited and precious. I would rather spend the hour I would spend working out, hanging out with my man playing catch or something else, especially when there is a chance I won’t be able to see him for a while if he makes it into the military. Secondly, I can not physically handle the additional stress on my body. I had a horse accident back a few years ago in which I messed my ankle up. I can no longer workout without it hurting for days on end(even squats kill me!). Its been swollen for weeks now and with me on my feet all day at my job I don’t need additional stress. Thirdly….I’m just plain tired. I am determined to reach my goals by having fun and enjoying life. I want to go for walks and play sports with my friends, and over all just enjoy each day. Same with food. While I intend to watch what I eat I don’t intend to follow a strict way of eating which sucks the joy out of my meals.

I look forward to changing my relationship towards my body and food. I want to start treating my body with respect and care rather than putting it through torture in an effort to reach a perceived ideal. Being constantly in pain and tired is not appealing to me and it worries my man. Somehow he has the capability to see through my facade that I always feel perfectly fine. Perhaps that is a part of true love…..one truly can see and feel each others happiness as well as pain.

#1 Tip to Boost Your Confidence

Whoa!!! Jeez……who knew doing one simple thing could cause my self-confidence (of which I have NEVER had much of) to start skyrocketing? Not only am I feeling better towards myself, the confidence has begun to spill over into other areas of my life including my job search and my relationship with the man of my dreams (quite literally.lol). So what is my secret?????? EXERCISE!!!!!! πŸ˜€ ” I feel good, na na na na, I knew that I would now!!!” (couldn’t resist. hehe) πŸ˜‰

Ok so I am sure everyone has probably heard about how good exercise is for the body. However, for me the biggest benefit has been mental. Yes I feel incredible physically, but the mental aspects are the greatest reward. I have determination to reach my goals in all areas of my life not just my physical ones, I have greater mental clarity, my stress levels have lessened and I haven’t had a panic attack in quite a while. I have begun to look at my body differently. Instead of seeing all my flaws and wishing I had the body of someone else, I see my own as a unique piece of clay of which I have the ability to mold. I am now working to build a better body rather than tear down and destroy it. I am no where near where I wish to be but I am finding satisfaction in my journey. For once I look forward to the summer months and dare I say……the swimsuits. I am determined to reach some of my milestones this year.

It truly is a cycle…… the first step is to make the decision, the second is to act upon your decision which in turn boosts your confidence. The cool part? It is a continuous cycle! the confidence you get fuels the decision to continue and so the snowball rolls! Isn’t it awesome! lol πŸ˜‰

Here are some tips to get you started.

1) Set your goals.

* Spend a little time to think about your goals and what you would like to accomplish. Don’t just write down physical goals either, write down any and all. Be specific. Visualize your goals and how you will feel when you have reached them. Write down the reasons why you want to reach them. Basically, take a step back and see what YOU want to be or do.

2) Decide on a reward system.

* Make your journey fun and “rewarding.” Personally, I have decided that each milestone I reach equals a new piece of lingerie. πŸ˜€ (I LOVE lingerie, its a confidence booster all by itself in my opinion!) Pick rewards that don’t involve food. In America it seems no matter what the occasion we use food. Perhaps its a southern thing but no matter if its a celebration of a funeral, food plays a major part.

3) Put your plan into action.

* The phrase “Just Do It” ring a bell?? lol I try to plan my workout time for the mornings simply because I know that if I get it accomplished first thing there is a small chance of anything happening and causing me not to do it. (spontaneous get togethers anyone?lol) Plus when I get up and spend the time working out it sets the day off to a great start I’ve noticed and gives me the extra little pep to my step. It makes me feel sexy and able to handle anything. Now what better reason do I need??? πŸ˜‰

I would love to hear some feedback. What do you do? Do you have rewards you look forward too or perhaps have already won??? What motivates you?

The Path to Self-Love

selfloveSelf-love. It’s something we hear thrown around a lot these days. We are constantly being told to love ourselves unconditionally not matter what. We are told not be critical of ourselves in any way. Well in theory its a wonderful concept. However, it is not possible to simply flip a switch and automatically begin loving yourself. In reality you may look in the mirror and verbally say to your reflection that you love yourself but if your inner beliefs don’t align with what you say you are essentially lying to yourself………….

Love is something that has to develop over a period of time. It’s not something that all of a sudden you decide. ” you know what from this day on I love myself just the way I am.” It’s not possible…….However, what is possible is to begin building a foundation of love. ❀ Β We can pick out aspects of ourselves we do love. Perhaps we love our eyes, nose, lips, hair, height, etc. If we search there is always some aspect about ourselves we are proud of and that is what we build our foundation of love upon. The next step is to acknowledge and accept the things we do not like about ourselves. We may not may not particularly like some aspects of ourselves but by acknowledging them we open a doorway for change. In a way it gives us power, the power to transform and change.

One of the interesting discoveries from the 1950’s I’ve made was the fact that it was common to critic one’s own body. Being overweight was not seen as socially acceptable and people were often known to “watch their figure.” I’m not saying by any means shaming is a good thing ( though one could argue we are shamed for not accepting ourselves too) but I do believe that self-awareness is… There are so many health risks associated with being overweight, yet we still receive mixed signals……… On one side we have the push to love ourselves just the way we are, on the other we have constant advertisements for the newest weight loss miracle….. πŸ˜›

A good example…..Walmart leading up to Christmas. You walk in the doors and the first things you see are all kinds of treats for Christmas, candy, cookies, etc. the day after Christmas……. its scales, meal replacements, and weight loss stuff…. I literally laughed when I saw it. LOL

The key element I believe a lot of people miss is that by SHOWING yourself love you can not only begin to change you body and health for the better, you will also begin to truly LOVE yourself. The solution, simply spending time everyday on yourself…….YES YOU!!!!!!! Before anyone starts jumping the gun and saying “oh I don’t have time for me,” you have to make time. There are a lot of excuses we could use to justify ourselves, I know because I have used plenty. Β School, career, children, husband must come first…….etc. While it is good to want to put others first, it is important not to let yourself suffer because of it. Think about it……… if you spend just a little bit of time on you everyday you will begin to feel better and gain confidence in yourself, which will inevitably spill over into other areas in your life. It is not selfish or even a form of self-hate to have a personal ideal and wish to work towards what you perceive is your best possible self. In reality your saying “I love myself enough to want to take care of me.” I personally know what it’s like to struggle with loving yourself. I come from a past of disordered eating and self punishment. Yet I am learning to love myself and the new found confidence I am gaining has indeed helped other areas of my life. By learning to do things because we want to show love to ourselves our whole mentality changes. Life is indeed much more pleasurable when associated with love. Β I would love to hear of any personal stories on your journeys towards self-love…. What is your opinions? Tips? Things you do to show yourself love? πŸ™‚

My Challenge!!! Care to Join???

Good Morning! I hope everyone is off to a wonderful start today and had a great Easter weekend. So far my day is off to a great start. I already fit my workout in for the day and now I am sitting here enjoying a huge cup of hazelnut coffee……OH!!!!! Just the thought makes me tremble with delight! πŸ˜€ Anyways….. while I was enjoying getting some me time in this morning I had some interesting thoughts come to mind….

As I have mentioned in my previous posts I have challenged myself to lose the excess weight, get fit and toned. Well I am additionally challenging myself to reach my goals……… at home. Yep…..that means no gym membership. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the gym and I am not saying it isn’t an extremely helpful tool. However, for me personally I have decided to quit going for a few different reasons. 1) I have to drive about 45 mins to get to one (welcome to small town life.lol). 2) I have just recently graduated college and am still trying to find a steady income( I can use the gas money and the extra time saved from driving for more valuable things). 3) I would rather put the $20 a month for a gym membership into running 5ks, which benefit charities. 4) I want to have FUN! I mean who says you have to do things you don’t enjoy simply to reach your physical goals? That doesn’t sound like self-love to me….

We must do things we love for our bodies, not try to put ourselves through what we perceive as torture simply to because it is touted to help us reach our weight loss/fitness goals. IT WON’T WORK. End of story! Been there and done that! lol πŸ˜› Sure it may have some short-term benefits but if you don’t enjoy it, how do you intend to sustain it for the rest of your life? Your mental attitude has a very large impact on whether you will succeed in anything, not just weight loss. If you are doing things you enjoy you are essentially telling yourself, “I am doing this because I love you.” Doing things through a spirit of love is MUCH more effective than trying to do them through a spirit of hate, not to mention it make life so much more pleasurable for you and everyone around you.  ❀ what you do

Those are my reasons. My challenge is to workout in (and outside) of my own home and through a spirit of love for myself and dare I say for my future family… Is it possible to reach my goals without having to go to a gym? I believe so. I am determined to actually. I don’t see my journey as a short duration…It’s not just till I reach a certain weight or a certain clothing size, to me this is something I need to make a life long habit of for myself and those I love. πŸ™‚

The Best Diet

1950 women bodyThe best diet is………….are you ready???????? NO DIET! I know a lot of you are probably thinking I’ve totally lost my mind now! I mean how are we supposed to lose weight if we don’t find the “right” diet and stick to it? Well coming from some one who started dieting when I was 16 (and at that time I was actually very athletic and thin!). What would turn into a dieting obsession all started with a challenge amongst a group of friends, of which I was already the thinnest, to see how much weight we could lose. I am now 23 fixing to be 24 and have been dieting ever since. You know what? I have actually gained about 30 pounds over the years, despite constantly dieting and even getting to the point of disordered eating(perhaps another story)! I have tried EVERY diet you can think of from low carb, zero carb, vegetarian, even fruitarian. I was gluten-free and lactose free for almost two years and the only thing that seemed to help was to make me have a hard time to digest those foods once I decided to try to eat them again. Besides I LOVE to cook and as someone who used to bake for everyone (hello reunions and church events!LOL) I have to admit……nothing is quite the same gluten-free. πŸ˜›

I have tried it all. I have been known as the health nut. Yes I drank kombucha and milked goats and a jersey cow for the raw milk (and yes I made my own butter and cheese.lol) and yet I still must admit that the best kind of diet is simply…..EAT WHATEVER YOU ENJOY!!!!!! I used to spend SO much time and energy trying to be “healthy” when in reality I was doing the opposite.

I have decided I want to give up dieting…. I want to be able to enjoy whatever I want without worrying over it, instead choosing to focus on the company I have while I’m eating it. In a society which constantly bombards us with food it is sometimes hard to resist the temptations. However, I think a really important question to ask ourselves is , What do I really want? I mean after years of eating a LOT of things I didn’t really like (I never can get into the bulletproof coffee, I’ll take mine without the grease thank you!) I really have to sit back and ask myself WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?

Take women in the 1950’s. They were generally slim yet they generally ate good food. They just ate smaller amounts of it. Today portion sizes have grown so big it is hard to realize what is truly needed. French women are EXCELLENT examples of being able to enjoy good food (chocolate, cheese and wine anyone??) and yet still stay slim, elegant and just plain sexy! They eat foods they enjoy but they eat them in smaller amounts and SAVOR every bite. Sometimes more is not always better I guess…..esp when it comes to the waistline.lolΒ The_French_Women_Don't_Get_Fat_Diet

Personally, I grew up with the “clean your plate” mentality (anyone with me??). You know “clean your plate because there are hungry children in (insert any country). Because of that I learned to save my favorite for last so at least I could finish with something I really liked. LOL I am now to the conclusion that by leaving food on my plate, I am NOT wasting food. After all is it better to throw it away or wear it on my hips? Uh yeah I think I prefer the trashcan! LOL ;P I have also realized that by eating what I ENJOY and not eating things I don’t, I am actually putting myself first. I am telling myself that I am important and showing myself a little bit of love. ❀

Living in such a fast paced world, it can be hard to slow down and ask myself what do I really want but by showing myself that little bit of love and taking away all the worry and stress involved with trying to be on a certain diet, I truly believe many aspects of my life will begin to heal. I hope you guys will follow along with my journey as I go. I do still intend to release(I don’t intend to lose it as I have no intention of finding it!lol) some weight, about 30lbs to be exact, and I will document my journey as I go. I hope to share the lessons I learn in hopes it may help someone out there find their own inner voice and begin treating their body with love and kindness, while attaining their goals.