OK now I know, I know……. everyone is supposed to love their body and feel sexy in their own skin. Do I ? Yes and no. I do love my body even though at times I feel as though it is torturing me, even still it is mine. I can’t say that I always feel sexy just because I am not where I want to be….yet. My mission is to become the woman I KNOW I am capable of being. I no longer chase ideals of what other people think I should look like, I am chase what ME, MYSELF, and I think I should look like. All my life I have listened to the voices of other people telling me how I looked and what I could or couldn’t look like. I’m done. The only people I seek to please are myself and my man. Both of which are closely tied together.
Perhaps I am old fashioned or not of my time but I don’t want the whole run way thin bones look. Perhaps it was because I grew up watching Baywatch and such that I love the way women’s bodies looked then slender yet still feminine and sexy! Now don’t get me wrong my ideals are just that mine. I’m not saying that someone who is larger and very curvy isn’t sexy. I have seen many very beautiful women who where called plus sized models and they are indeed much sexier than bones. But for me I need to slim down some more to feel my sexiest.
I began a journey a few years ago from being a farm girl who didn’t care what I looked like to someone who has begun to take pride in how I look. I feel as though I am a caterpillar slowly changing and eventually will become a butterfly. That is now my mission. to become that butterfly and make my man proud(don’t get me wrong, he already thinks I am perfect). Self improvement never hurt though. 😉
I have a secret……… I secretly wish I lived in an earlier time period…. You know? Where being a house wife was not looked down upon and wanting to please your man was not looked upon as a weakness. I am so tired of the modern perception of what is expected of me as a woman! Society says I must have a college degree. Done. Society says I need to be independent and have a successful career. Ok, now I have some issues. What exactly determines success? I am indeed independent. I have grown up without much choice in the matter (perhaps a story for a later date). As far as a career? Well now THAT is a problem. You see ever since I was little I have wanted to have a family and be a mom, and I am the only one in my family with that kinda mindset. LOL Being a wife and later a mom is the one dream of mine which has NEVER changed. Don’t get me wrong there are other things I hope to achieve along the lines of a “real job/career” but in my opinion there is NO job more important than the one within the home!
Perhaps I am a little weird. I mean I am sitting and writing a blog post on wanting to be a good housewife while wearing a corset. LOL (again…..story for another time.lol) 😉 I have always found earlier time periods so fascinating. I mean women were so different than they are today in my opinion. They took pride not only in their abilities to maintain their home and family lives and found time for charitable work, they also took pride in THEMSELVES!
Personally I feel as though it is my job to make my man happy. I really truly want to WORK at being the woman of his dreams. I know he loves me as I am and thinks I hang the moon……but I know I can be oh so much better! You see I had more or less given up on my dream of being a wife. I honestly had gotten caught up in the whole “I don’t need a man” way of thinking, and you know what? I also gave up on myself… I got to the point I didn’t really care about me. I mean why should I spend a ton of time on myself when no one was ever around to appreciate it? It may seem silly I suppose but since being reunited with the ONLY man I have EVER loved (you got it….another story.LOL Lets just say I have had a crush on him since I was about 13.) my whole mindset has changed now.
Being with him has reignited my desire to be the best version of me. I have always loved everything womanly. I mean seriously what is wrong with wanting to enhance my womanly characteristics??? I have several female role models that I adore for their class, feminism and lets face it just plain seductive ways. In my opinion Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly and in general all the actresses had a seductiveness which is rare now days. In my opinion one of my favorite current model would have to be Dita Von Teese .
I may have indeed grown up as a “tom boy,” it just kinda happens when you grow up on a ranch. LOL Yet I LOVE all things feminine. I love feeling like a woman wearing dresses, lingerie, and bubble baths. I have studied many aspects of being an elegant lady for years. Now I truly have the best reason in the world to implement the things I have learned! ❤ ❤ ❤
Now I WANT to be better….in so many ways. I am setting out on a journey. A journey of discovery, healing, weight loss/ physical transformation, and learning how to truly be the best version of a woman I can be. I know it will be a long journey but I truly believe it will be the most rewarding and memorable journey I could ever make. I want to invite everyone to join me. You never can tell what kind of adventure this chick can get into! 😉